Joke Thread

[maca]

Saw this on the Euro Car Club site and thought it was a great idea

I'll get the ball rolling with one I found on there:

A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner, during the
course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome
Paul's
flatmate, Simon, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship
between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course
of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if
there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye.
Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Simon & I are just flatmates".

About a week later, Simon came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you
don't
suppose she took it do you?" "Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just
to be sure" said Paul. So he sat down and wrote:

DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY
HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE
FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR
DINNER.

LOVE PAUL

Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:

DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT
SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF
HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY
NOW.
LOVE MUM

So if you find a good joke, post it up. You never know when you're making someone's day brighter

[dylan8]

haha good one

[Mrk_Mickey]

Hahahah that's brilliant. Didn't pick it.

[mikepologti]

hahaha thats awsome .

[maca]

HAHAHA great one there

[Dubdubdubdot]

I know its wrong, but every now and then I give into the urge to 'whack off' over my ex-girlfriend..


..I knows it is wrong but..

..She's a heavy sleeper and I still have the keys to her apartment.

[maca]

Funny though

[mrlex]

A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. "No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."


I'm not normally suspicious, but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected his special resin into her crack!

She hasn't even got a car?


Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."


Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your
friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."

Enjoy.

[gavs]

I'm not normally suspicious, but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from Autoglass came round and injected his special resin into her crack!

She hasn't even got a car?

I swear I didn't!!......

[Mrk_Mickey]

Haha confidential