Humour section

[99gti]

Ladies and Gents,
To sum this up simply, things need to be toned down a notch in the humour section. It's the biggest cause of pain for the Admins and Mods and ultimately this is a VW forum.

If you want to post pictures up in here, host them off the site instead of using up our server space. If a mod deletes your post, please dont give them lip over it. If they deem something is obnoxious then it is their job to remove it and without them we dont have a forum. It's that simple.

If the smut is not cleaned up then we will revert to a single humour post that will be pruned regularly. It will be placed in the general section and therefore will be much more heavily moderated.

The votes to abolish the humour section now out weigh those who do not wish to get rid of it so this is it. Either clean up the posts your making in here or we have to revert to an option that makes it more simple. Things have been left to run freely in here but they are going well beyond what is deemed acceptable.

[Blitzen]

To make it fair, can we run a poll to see who wants to keep or get rid of the humour section. I for one want to keep it. I see it as a mainstay of this forum.
I have a feeling that of those people who want to get rid of it, most would be the ones to hide in the corner when it comes to volanteering, and not put their hand up when the suggestion is made.
It comes to the old adage, If you like it, don't look at it.

Keep it.

I'm putting the challenge out to the members pf this forum. If you don't like the Humour Section, voice your opinion on here, then go out and grow a sence of humour.

[Spyda]

To make it fair, can we run a poll to see who wants to keep or get rid of the humour section. I for one want to keep it. I see it as a mainstay of this forum.
I have a feeling that of those people who want to get rid of it, most would be the ones to hide in the corner when it comes to volanteering, and not put their hand up when the suggestion is made.
It comes to the old adage, If you like it, don't look at it.

Keep it.

I'm putting the challenge out to the members pf this forum. If you don't like the Humour Section, voice your opinion on here, then go out and grow a sence of humour and a pair.

Maby the people who are hiding in the corner because they fear they will be abused and told to grow a pair? People shouldn't be scared to voice their opinion if they find something they dont like. The response shouldnt be "grow a pair" and "if you dont like it then dont look". It should be a bit more friendly and understanding as we are all here as VW mates right?.....maby not.

I don't mind if the humor section stays or goes, most of the stuff from here is avaliable at orsm.net anyway.

I would like the motivational pics thread to stay, its a great larf.

[gregozedobe]

The votes to abolish the humour section now out weigh those who do not wish to get rid of it so this is it. Either clean up the posts your making in here or we have to revert to an option that makes it more simple. Things have been left to run freely in here but they are going well beyond what is deemed acceptable.

Yeah, some of the stuff on here is probably taking things a bit too far at times(particularly for a car forum), so toning it down a tad would be a good thing.

Where abouts is the poll on keeeping or abolishing the humour section ? I'd certainly like to vote to keep it :)

[gareth_oau]

I'd like to keep it.

I think a lot of its garbage, so i choose not to read it. but I dont deny others their right to read it.

i agree it needs to be in moderation as its a public forum, but I'd hope that those who do post unacceptable material will show a little respect to the others on the forum, and to the moderators so that they arent constantly barraged with clean up tasks and complaints.

Perhaps if certain members continue to post what the mods deem unacceptable then they are given a holiday

[Blitzen]

Maby the people who are hiding in the corner because they fear they will be abused and told to grow a pair? People shouldn't be scared to voice their opinion if they find something they dont like. The response shouldnt be "grow a pair" and "if you dont like it then dont look". It should be a bit more friendly and understanding as we are all here as VW mates right?.....maby not.

I don't mind if the humor section stays or goes, most of the stuff from here is avaliable at orsm.net anyway.

I would like the motivational pics thread to stay, its a great larf.

Ok, so maybe that "Grow a pair" call was a bit harsh, and for that I apologise. Bit it is definatly a case of "If you don't like it, don't look..."

Maybe we should put up a motivational poster type warning on the Humour Section title...;)

[Mrk_Mickey]

I agree with most here. Keep it clean, cos we're all still keen :)

[maca]

Can we really keep going back to the "It's a VW forum so watch what you post in the Humour Section?" We have plenty of other sections dedicated to specific VAG models so as I see it, this section doesn't really have anything to do with them.

I love this section and would hate to see it go, so let's take that extra step, be a little more responsible (by warning others that the thread may be offensive, etc) and we'll get to continue enjoying it!

[Mr Messy]

I too love the humar section. I'd like to see not safe for work (NSFW) labels on more things, as many of us do have a cheeky peek while chained to a desk.

Also some things do go a bit far. The spocker for one.

And I think we can appreciate humour without it being racial.

[maca]

Oh so that's what NSFW means.. Even the humour section can be educational..

What's spocker?

[jasn78]

im in agreeance with 99gti here guys i lov the humour section but there is some stuff that is posted in there esp the motivational posters that borders on pornagraphic at times, and while i lov reading them it means alot of pple inc myself have to be careful where we read them. So I see no problem mods asking to keep it a bit cleaner so it cuts down on an already hectic work load for them, after all it is a free forum and they are doing a job they dont get any rewards for.

[KWICKS]

The humour section is one of the forums I always check out. The content is always interesting, the contributors often regulars, etc so it is obvious to me this is part of the communtiy that should stay - its working for VWW.

But use your wisdom to do whatebver is best, and occasionally call for restraint as is required.

[zz2]

jesus christ not again :duh:

[maca]

jesus christ not again :duh:
x2.

We were only having this debate about 2 weeks ago weren't we?

[Mrk_Mickey]

We're having it on a weeklyish basis I reckon...don't worry. The rules get layed in place, then everyone slacks off, then the rules get laid back down, then everyone slacks off again. It's life, this is the ''laid back down'' stage ;)

[tinto]

http://www.vwwatercooled.com.au/forums/images/imported/2009/05/e8144cff8a4a295ff715ad73bfc69682gif-1.jpg

[mikepologti]

i do love the humour section in fact i visit it more then other areas, of the forum. though some posts i do have to agree are maybe going a lil to far. i personally dont have a problem with them but i can see how others would get offended.

i think maybe the main problem here is the guide lines. maybe they need to be updated.what we could do is what alot of online chat sites are doing ,rate them. formalise it to r rated, g rated, m rated with corisponding guidlines, posted as a sticky. i know this only sounds like more work, though in the end, with the rating scheme in place it would hopfully remedy the need for constant need for moderating threads.

[zz2]

if its too much of a hassle for the mods then why did they put their hand up to become one?

[99gti]

if its too much of a hassle for the mods then why did they put their hand up to become one?

Thanks again Mark for some constructive feedback. They signed up to help, not to be abused.

They were also asked because they demonstrated the quality's needed to perform the role, they didn't volunteer.

[Mind's Eye]

Perhaps a good compromise would be to draft up a what's taboo in the most clear-cut way possible. I know in reality everyone's individual interpretation and perspective will blur the line and will get the odd person who posts something they think is OK, but a mod thinks otherwise and then normally ensues is a ban, a cry about injustice/inconsistency, and a thread regarding the future of the humour section. But if there is something more concrete to refer to other than the term "offensive" it may be a more effective measure of stamping it out. I know with what I proposed, for it's best chance of working the rules will have to be absolutely no racist, sexist, insert-your-discrimination-here-ist jokes, to minimize that gray area of opinion.

I love a good joke (including the odd dirty/may be deemed "offensive" one), and I'd hate to see the humour section go.
So instead of losing the whole thing, is it too illogical to just drop the bad jokes?
The internet is your oyster for jokes of all descriptions.

[Jarred]

The problem with humor is there is no black and white, to whats funny, what's not, what's racist what's not. it's nigh on impossible to 'draw a line', imo.

I'd rather have a strictly policed humor section, rather than no humor section at all.

[maca]

The problem with humor is there is no black and white, to whats funny, what's not, what's racist what's not. it's nigh on impossible to 'draw a line', imo.

I'd rather have a strictly policed humor section, rather than no humor section at all.

Still gotta be lenient enough to actually be funny though. No point in having the sections if it doesn't prove it's point.

"If you think it's going to offend you, don't look" :brutal:

You're taking the chance by looking at it and if you don't like it it's your own fault for taking that chance.

We're all lucky i'm not a Mod... Hmm that gives me an idea :idea:

j:

[FJ Steve]

Maca....you have my vote. :bowdown:

[Rocket36]

Excuse the ignorance, but who is he?

[edit] never mind - just saw the General section and that he was someone that died. Guessing he was funny... :)

[RhysQ]

Excuse the ignorance, but who is he?

[edit] never mind - just saw the General section and that he was someone that died. Guessing he was funny... :)

he was not only a man of constant good humor but was one of the main contributors to the humor section.

[mrlex]

I'm not normally suspicious, but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from OBrienGlass came round and injected his special resin into her crack.

She hasn't even got a car.

Edit: Sorry guys just realised ive put this in the wrong place :duh:

[Jettinabout]

I truly cannot believe the anal retentiveness of some people and they are not just limited to this forum either.

The heading of the section clearly states humour and as such there is a good chance that there will be posted at sometime or other a joke or picture that may offend(most of the time not intended, just a bit over the top for those easily offended). If you are that easily offended, then just close the humour section(that you really should not be in if you are that easily offended) you are in, and go to the one in the forum most liked by you and stay there...

I don't care to hear of what you are offended by(USUALLY SOMETHING VERY MINOR) .....you are most likely a passive bully(you know the ones...those who make out they are squeaky clean and create havoc by aside whispers and covert backstabbing) who spends most of your life complaing about minor issues and when you get to 60 then realise that life has passed you by.

Now I will wait for the usual replies.....from the usual sooks.

[Ironman]

Here is some humour and Fact!

I absolutely love this, who-ever thought it up is a genius, they need congratulating. ENJOY

Dear Ms. Gillard,



Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the

money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the

following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme

that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to

reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back

their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If

not, please disregard.

Grumpies of the World Unite

Also .

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and

walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical

treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it

out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped

instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed

and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and

snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual

counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on

request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with

gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards

would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay

$600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a

Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for

centuries and we're not using it anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a

courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit

Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and

politicians...... It creates a hostile work environment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;

Think about this .... If you don't want to forward this for fear of

offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy

old folk of Australia to speak up!

[maca]

I'd love to know why a November 2009 thread was revived and opened for response...

[bazzle]

Getting this section back on Track :banana:

A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 7-year-old. "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4-year-old nods his head in approval, so the 7-year-old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast,
I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me; okay?"

"Okay," the 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7-year-old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, s#it mum, I don't know. I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops."

WHACK!!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs, crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4-year-old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be fuc#ing Coco Pops."

[bazzle]

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL....

If you've ever had a cat, you will know just how true this is!

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left
arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger
and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently
apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right
hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm,
holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws
open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.

Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of
wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat.

Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden
ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill
from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and
repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines and vases from hearth and set to one
side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie
on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open
with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to
humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply
Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood
from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another
pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard,
and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard
door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of
scotch. Pour a shot, drink. Apply cold compress to
cheek, and check records for date of last tetanus shot.

Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back
another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from
across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed
into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill
from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little sucker's front paws to rear paws with
garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table,
find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.
Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to
drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill
remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way
home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill.....

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.



That's what I like about dogs!!!

[bazzle]

One lazy Sunday morning, the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table, when I said to her unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.
"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other ar$ehole using my stuff."
She looked at me intently and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another ar$ehole?"

[bazzle]

Centrelink Fairy




A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside
the Centrelink Offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said,
'I've been told by Julia Gillard to grant you three wishes, since you've
just arrived in Australia with your wife and seven children -- all costs
to be borne by the Australian Tax Payers.'

The man told the fairy:
'Well, in Sri Lanka where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I
want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and

-- PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth
in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go!

The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder.
'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Gold Coast with eight
bedrooms - and a Gold Visa Card in each room -for my family and the rest
of my refugee relatives who still live in Sri Lanka . I want to bring
them all over here'.

PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a
three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a
sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.

'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and
said "I want to be Australian with Australian clothes instead of the rags
and shawl , and I want to have white skin like the Australians.'

PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out Stubbies shorts, a
dirty Bonds T-shirt and a greasy terry-towel hat. He had his bad teeth
back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?
Where's my Visa Gold Card?'

The fairy said
'Tough luck. Now that you are Australian, you're entitled to
sweet f*** all, just like the rest of us".

And she disappeared.........

[bazzle]

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning,
can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.




I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
but she did.


The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.

F*ck me, talk about Dyson with death.


Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.



Two friends are fishing near a bridge.
Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up,
takes off his cap and bows his head.
When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on,
sits back down and carries on fishing.
His mate turns to him and says,
" Dave, that's one of the nicest most respectful things I've ever seen "
Dave replies,
" Well we were married for nearly 20 years "



Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."
"f*ck that" says Mick
"have you seen how many of their owners go blind"



Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead"
The operator says how do you know?
He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!



I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest p*nis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"



I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.


A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer.
The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from?
You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn," replies the man nervously.
"What do you do, just across the Severn?", "I'm a Taxidermist."
"What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals."
"Its all right boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.


Spent $40 on ebay last week for a p*nis enlarger.
Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass!



I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.



An old lady is being examined by the Dr. he asks have you ever been bedridden?
she says yes I have and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too.



Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine
until he stuck his index finger up my ar$e!
Do you think I should change dentists?

[bazzle]

THE NEVER ENDING SOAP OPERA OF MARGARET & BERT








Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,

"Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different?"

It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."
__________________

[Cossor]

I'm not normally suspicious, but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from OBrienGlass came round and injected his special resin into her crack.

She hasn't even got a car.

Edit: Sorry guys just realised ive put this in the wrong place :duh:

Yeah. We can all see through your attempts to dodge the sensible request. :emo_baghead:
After all, this is a VW appreciation site, and a car lovers site, not a site for posting thinly disguised innuendo!
(Innuendo? Spanish suppository :facepalm:)
But in all sincerity, post's to do with cars and car problems, fantastc. Never mind someone singing about FRIDAY:mad:

[Cossor]

"Spent $40 on ebay last week for a p*nis enlarger.
Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass! "

A room with a view?

[hooba]

Look what they did to this Mx-5 - click linky (http://www.carpoint.com.au/all-cars/private/details.aspx?Cr=1&R=10963474&keywords=&trecs=471&__sid=1317637DDAA8&__Ns=pCar_PriceSort_Decimal|0||pCar_RankSort_Int32 |1||pCar_Make_String|0||pCar_Model_String|0&__Qpb=1&__Nne=15&__No=180&seot=1&__N=834)

[hooba]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lolb772PmP1qb15kzo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId =AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1312068613&Signature=5Ed0F%2Bz%2FjlxG0l%2BJtudINykkenU%3D

[ryana89]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c71RCAyLS1M

[GOLFBALLS]

Sorry, but where the hell is the "lol'd for a bit" thread???????

[dylan8]

Sorry, but where the hell is the "lol'd for a bit" thread???????

This ^^^^^^^^

[hooba]

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpqco7k0kX1qegan9o1_500.jpg

[The_Hawk]

Sorry, but where the hell is the "lol'd for a bit" thread???????

In some of the general chat sections old threads automatically drop off the listings once they have not been responded to in over xx days, they do live on in the archives so can be searched for and it's possible to bump an old thread.

I have tweaked the humour section so that thread is visible again, keep adding new content and it will hang around :D

[Lorenz]

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy, the officer on duty, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to carry 5 people in a Quattro... Quattro means four"

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishman retorts disbelievingly.

"Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons. Five seats, five seat belts, five people "

"You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."

The Englishman replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

[maca]

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy, the officer on duty, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to carry 5 people in a Quattro... Quattro means four"

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishman retorts disbelievingly.

"Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons. Five seats, five seat belts, five people "

"You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."

The Englishman replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

That throws me in the wind about a few cars... The Fiat 500 and Chrysler 300M/C just to name a few. Not to mention every single model of the BMW range.

[brimway]

Fiesta Trio
Nissan DUALis
Skoda OCTavia
Honda Quintet
Maserati Quattroporte
Chrysler Centura
Which reminds me when Chrysler bought the Rootes Group (UK), they answered the phone with "Good Morning, Chrysler Rootes Australia"

I need to get out more!

[Baska]

anyone wonder what happened to that NASA satellite?.....
see: NASA satellite falls on car. [VIDEO] (http://www.wimp.com/nasasatellite/)
:)

[steve2234]

I'm not sure if this has been posted before up here or if it's the right place to post it but i sure found it funny

VWVortex.com - Best sounding exhaust (http://forums.vwvortex.com/showthread.php?5232255-Best-sounding-exhaust)

Have a read for yourselves :)

[BarneyBoy]

D.I.Y. engine removal (Fred in the shed method)
(not the mintiest Golf I've ever seen)

Biertijd.com // Media » Jagersma Grootegast Motor Demontage - VW Golf Engine Removal (http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=33478)

[Bflat]

I'm not sure if this has been posted before up here or if it's the right place to post it but i sure found it funny

VWVortex.com - Best sounding exhaust (http://forums.vwvortex.com/showthread.php?5232255-Best-sounding-exhaust)

Have a read for yourselves :)

I just had the whole department watch me for 5 minutes without me realising, uncontrollable laughter. This is the best thing ever!!!

[Jarred]

I just had the whole department watch me for 5 minutes without me realising, uncontrollable laughter. This is the best thing ever!!!

currently p*ssing myself laughing!

[Cookie28]

That is awesome!!! So many lols in that thread.... And the OP :facepalm: can't believe he didn't get that